Why you don’t want to come to Iowa

Hinterlands:  a region lying beyond major metropolitan or cultural centers

German, from hinter hinder + Land

First Known Use: 1890

Synonyms : back country, back lands, backwoods, frontier, outback, up-country

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Dear Dave,

I know you are thinking strongly about moving to Iowa.  Thought I would jot you a quick note to give you my perspective.  When I hear the word “hinterland” I think of Iowa. Especially that part about being  “beyond the cultural centers.”  Culture is the last thing you’ll ever experience here in Iowa.

My great grand father came to Iowa from Germany before the turn of the century.  Not sure what he was thinking.   There is absolutely nothing here to see or do.  As your friend, I would strongly encourage you to think long and hard before you relocate to such a barren place.  I’m trying to be objective as I write this but I’d rather error on the side of caution, so you won’t be overwhelmed, in the event you would decide to come.

Today (November 7th) the weatherman said we may be in for it next week.   The winter storms here can last for days.  This past Winter, we had a several week stretch where the temperatures did not get above 10 degrees.    Ice and snow storms are common from the first of November through March.

Once we get into May, it’s tornado season.  If you look on the map, we are in the upper area of what is called “tornado alley.”

Electricity only came to our area recently and we still can’t get a good signal for an internet connection.

And the quietness of this place will drive you batty.

The air is dirty and the soil poor.

The water that comes out of the ground is also tainted with all sorts of nasty stuff.

Prices for groceries are probably double the national average.

There are no jobs to be had and the smartest thing I would recommend is you stay right where you are at.

It’s best to live in an area with a higher population density. There is a reason McDonald s doesn’t put a restaurant in towns of less than 10,000, although I hear they have started to make some exceptions with that.

I know there are a few alarmist that write about behavioral sink.

I don’t believe  a word of it.

They claim that cramming too many people in to small an area results in behaviors such as (quoting now) “aggression, submissiveness, sexual deviance, and reproductive abnormalities….

explosive violence, hypersexual activity followed by asexuality, and self-destruction…

More than six hundred mice now lived in Universe 25, constantly rubbing shoulders on their way up and down the stairwells to eat, drink, and sleep. Mice found themselves born into a world that was more crowded every day, and there were far more mice than meaningful social roles. With more and more peers to defend against, males found it difficult and stressful to defend their territory, so they abandoned the activity. Normal social discourse within the mouse community broke down, and with it the ability of mice to form social bonds. The failures and dropouts congregated in large groups in the middle of the enclosure, their listless withdrawal occasionally interrupted by spasms and waves of pointless violence. The victims of these random attacks became attackers. Left on their own in nests subject to invasion, nursing females attacked their own young. Procreation slumped, infant abandonment and mortality soared. Lone females retreated to isolated nesting boxes on penthouse levels. Other males, a group Calhoun termed “the beautiful ones,” never sought sex and never fought—they just ate, slept, and groomed, wrapped in narcissistic introspection. Elsewhere, cannibalism, pansexualism, and violence became endemic.

Mouse society had collapsed….”

You can read more about those experiments here.

We’re not rats or mice, so I don’t think their theories apply.

Let me know if you have any questions, I’ll do my best to give it to you straight.

Here are a few recent pictures I’ve taken.

Don’t let them fool you.  This is not a good place to raise a family.

sunrise in Iowa

Sunrise

 

 

IMG_3779

October morn

Saturday morning sunrise

Morning in the orchard

novembermorning3

November morning sky

evening light

After the harvest

misty march morning

 Misty morning in March

 

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8 Responses to Why you don’t want to come to Iowa

  1. I looked at the photo’s and thought a bit about what you wrote.
    Then it dawned on me, you have space. A distance between bodies, and no street lights in any of the photographs.

    Even better not one line of electricity pylons, cellular phone masts, wind turbines, road signs, “DO NOT” signs, new housing developments in the middle of green fields, Tesco’s, grafetti, and trash all over the fences. That and not one foreigner in sight let alone cars, trucks, and speed cameras.

    Yep, I’d hate to go there too (not).
    ______________________________
    Good to hear from you Thoughtfullyprepped. Sounds like a lot of clutter w/ all those sighs, turbines, spy cameras and trash. No wonder some people are a little edgy. 😉 DM

  2. shoreacres says:

    I saw what you were up to, and laughed all the way through. If it weren’t for those danged winters, I’d be on my way right now.
    ________________
    I love it when you laugh! 😉 DM

  3. micey says:

    This is quite amusing! There was at least a weeks worth of touristy stuff to do!
    ________________________
    Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… I thought you’d sworn to secrecy? What happens in Iowa, stays in Iowa 😉 Glad you are feeling better Michelle!DM

  4. Kristina says:

    the EXACT reason why i want to be there!!!!!
    ___________________________________
    Give me peace and quiet any day. Good to hear from you Lucy! 😉 DM

  5. Please don’t throw me into that briar patch!
    __________________________
    It is dangerous here, be sure of that 😉 DM

  6. lisalassas says:

    Boy, I think this blog post was reading my mind! Have come to the conclusion recently that the very overcrowded conditions I live in (both IN my house and OUTSIDE, in Brooklyn NY), is resulting in a skewing of the “goodness” in people. I find myself constantly justifying the cruelness I see between people–in my extended family and in my neighborhood. “He has a good heart BUT….” , “they are not bad people, BUT…” is a refrain I find myself repeating. Is there a place where people are purely kind? Trust their neighbors’ intentions? Do things “selflessly,” not purely out of camouflaged personal needs? Allow others freedom because they understand that their own need for freedom (mental, emotional, spiritual) is shared by ALL of us here on this planet? I believed in such places and such people when I was growing up, but find myself more and more wondering where such people actually exist. I often do not feel they are here, in this house with me– and wonder sometimes if they are anywhere in my neighborhood. I still believe in these things but sometimes my faith in goodness and fairness is shaken so far that I come to fear that a place full of well-intentioned, mostly good people is a figment of childhood idealism, not a reality. Probably I need to make some big changes. As to you—stay in Iowa! Purely out of self-interest, I say that– because I might need to come visit you in that miserable, barren, un-cultured non-rat-hole as part of my rehabilitation process 😉
    ________________________
    So when are you going to start blogging? you have a gift with words, and your last sentence cracked me up 😉 “As to you—stay in Iowa! Purely out of self-interest, I say that– because I might need to come visit you in that miserable, barren, un-cultured non-rat-hole as part of my rehabilitation process 😉 DM

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